Okay, now something else is scaring me. It just dawned on me that something, God perhaps? is trying to tell me something. I've taken notice of a theme being presented to me. That theme is "you better get right with God". Normally any mention of The End of Days is met with a profound eyeroll on my part. Not because I don't believe that day will come or because I think lightly of the fact that I will be judged but because I tend to immediately assume someone is possibly a little Heaven's Gate-ish when that subject arises. In the past couple of weeks I've stumbled on some blog posts on the subject, some serious and some not so much, a couple of magazine articles, and most recently a friend who is not overly religious sent me a video on the subject. Then this week we saw Noah The Musical which is very obviously on the subject. Not one eyeroll from me over any of it.
I know scared is not the feeling I should have when I think about the coming of God. If I were living right I wouldn't feel scared. I'm not one who believes that my presence in a particular building every Sunday morning is my pass into Heaven. If I had found that church where I felt totally comfortable and felt a strong desire to spend time, I would no doubt take that road. As of yet, I have not. I tend to keep my religion/spirituality quiet. It's something that's very private to me and I can't change my feelings on that in an instant. I don't discuss it with many people - lets just pretend I'm not blogging on the internet about it right now. It's not about being ashamed of my belief in God or afraid of ridicule. I'm not sure what it is about or why my thoughts keep coming back to the subject. But I feel the deep desire to listen to it. To make the little changes that I know I should make, if for no other reason than to make myself feel better about the way I live my life and how that reflects my love for God. Should The End of Days be upon us, I'd really like to be on the right side when the door closes. And if the end is thousands of years away, I'd still like to be on the right side right now.
2 comments:
Very well put. It's amazing how things change as we get older, and things that used to be ever so important are not so much these days. In the end, I think it's the little things that matter most. We shall eventually find out, huh?
I've found there's a very fine line between being on fire for God and coming across as preachy/judgemental. For this reason, I often don't talk about things like this with people I don't want to make uncomfortable. And to be perfectly honest, I don't know if that's the "right" thing to do or not.
That said, please know you can talk to be about anything...at any time. You're in my prayers, girlie.
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