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Oh, don't pretend you don't see them.
There!
Those two volcanos of gross erupting on my face!
Right there!.JPG)
What. the. fuck? Am I suddenly a 13 year old boy? Are my balls dropping? Is my voice squeaking? This is bullshit! And don't even get me started on that peach fuzz beard I'm apparently sporting. I'm about 18 different kinds of vain and THOSE are not my kind of beauty marks. And what about concealer and foundation you ask? I know! If that shit can cover the luggage I carry around under my eyes every day, why in the sam-hell is it seemingly repelled by these monsters? Instead of covering them, it rented a stoplight and directed it right to my chin as if to say, "Hey look at the 29 year old woman with zits the size of small planets on her face!" Well, that's it, all playdates, shopping trips, and activities which require me to leave the house are officially cancelled until the eruption subsides. Sucks to me me this week.
4 comments:
You are TOO much!
Thanks for the laughs. :)
I would love to join you on the WTF series! I was ran off the road by a dumb ass skank who decided to pull right out into traffic. Then she had the balls to start yelling at ME! Oh, if I wasn't on my way to work I think I would've seriously kicked her ass!
*If it makes you feel any better, I get random black hairs that like to sprout themselves on my chin-y chin chin! I do a daily once over to make sure none of them have snuck by!
Honey, I have some bad news for you: the break outs aren't going to end. I'm a month from turning 34 and am currently sporting the biggest pimple on my upper lip.
I've just taken to naming mine. Makes it more festive. Might I suggest Harriet and Paul for yours?
Just found your blog via the BATW and I LOVE it finally someone not afraid to cuss! Amen! French;)
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